by Kryphios
And let it be reminded, you are safe here.
The Heart
is
What is a man, woman, child alone for so long? The inside has been around for so long that one can hardly recall any face that isn't their own. And even at a point, that distorts into nothing of note. One would move to a place so desolate specifically for it's desolation, it would be ironic if it weren't so sad. This is what my friend had said in reference to the predicament one now faces. To some degree, it is not the worst of fates. One has plenty of time to work on whatever art or craft or hobby one pleases. But it gives alot of time for ugly thoughts to rear their head in. Not new thoughts by any means, but certainly ugly ones. These thoughts at this point would torment one for so long that they can almost be categorized, sorted into various groups based on their temper, sting, frequency, and other attributes. There are few that are good by any means, most are deep into dysphoric slump in fact.
ON THE CATEGORIES
There are X which I have identified.
1. Tangle of George
2. Restless Stillness
3. Phantom Odor
4. Automatic Requirement
TANGLE OF GEORGE
Tempered wild, but stings little and only happens usually as an aftereffect of another ugly thought. Two factors start to play as it grips the mind, senses heighten but cognition fails, one cannot retain a focus or keep up a Cryphia. The shade does a tango in the corner of vision and the best one can do is close their eyes and hope it ends, which then a different category will eventually take grip. Images of viewers horror would flash before this switch, usually not truly frightening alone but only combined with the senses of the Tangle. Creativity is either rot or unconsciously grandiose, art either coming out atrocious or masterful. It is also possible for the storm to lead to calm, however.
RESTLESS STILLNESS
An unholy temperment to the point of physical abnormality. Stings much, to the point of weeping and other signs of outward distress. Rare in frequency, having only happened thrice in ones lifetime. It is almost similar to the Tangle in it's immense disorganization, yet at the same time it has a terrible organzation in the form of a single repeated ugly thought of a long abandoned lover or a dead friend. It is inverted from the Tangle, senses being wholly muted and cognition suddenly tumbling into a cascade of solely emotional thought. There is little use in fighting it once it has struck, and at times it will send one into the Tangle for around a day after it has hit. It seemingly usually activates from a "trigger" accidentally fired by another person's wording or situation. It is no use to blame this person, as they had no way to know of this much like one wouldn't know until it has hit.
PHATNOM ODOR
Well-tempered but moderate in it's harm. Frequency seems to come and go in bimonthly cycles. It starts as a simple odor. Usually a musk akin to another persons sweat or the inside of an old building. Upon being recognized, it has a habit of sending one into a state of confusion and recognition at once. This will eventually lead one down a line of neutral or even fair thoughts until they eventually arrive to its' final form, as an ugly thought. Once this has finalized, motivation or even energy itself will be drained from the individual, realizing just what is reminded by the scent. Then it will fade, leaving one temporarily sucked of heart.
AUTOMATIC REQUIREMENT
A rare ugly thought. Both well-tempered and of little harm. Occaisionally acts as the end result of another category but usually arrives upon waking. One would be shamed and roused by the thought until the conclusion is to distract themselves with menial tasks or chores. This usually continues for a few hours until either the thought fades or one is too tired to continue with the tasks wherethen the thought will fade with exhausion. While not harmful, it can get more extreme when mixed with other negative events happening before, during, or after the tasks. Possibly leading to overworking oneself or a loss in self value.
01/13/25